CFT (child/family team meeting) for Steven today. I'm still having a hard time feeling good about sitting in meetings to get him services. He continues to falsify many things about us - and CPS worker from hell (aka Steven's new best friend) is continuing to support him and be outwardly and obviously against us, with no merit. (One of today's comments, when I mentioned something about a long ago caseworker asking us to take Larry & Allie from an orphanage style home. "Oh, so CPS contributed to your demise." I ignored her, like always - but her agenda is clear. To the kids a while ago "Don't worry. I will handle these idiots that take care of you." Attorneys have told us what we already knew - there is nothing we can do. All because Steven sexually assaulted and we called police and asked that he be moved to get some help...). I love his mental health workers right now. I severely dislike the CPS worker. I have a hard time stomaching meetings with Steven, who finds joy in denying reality and creating a new one, at our expense (and his, too, as it keeps him from help).
Tomorrow, a court hearing for same thing. Mediation hearing. I'm sick to my stomach already - sitting here at midnight, with heartburn, dreading the morning.
Max, on the other hand, over the holidays, sat at the table and apologized for "being an asshole" growing up and when we had the most serious problems with him. He went into more detail and it was nice to see him growing in his understanding and maturity.
State dropped the kids from insurance due to a mix-up on their part. They are willing to kindly reopen the case??, with all new documentation from us (a difficult feat, given all that they require for each person - again). I waited on a chair for 3.5hours this afternoon for a less than one minute conversation with a desk clerk - who took my SS#, announced that she'd set me a phone appt to talk to someone and handed me a piece of paper with the time on it. The ONLY words I uttered were "thank you" when she was done. 3.5 hours. Ugh. And...while I wait for the error correction, I get to pay full price for the kids' prescriptions. Yikes. Yet, I will still announce that I am more than grateful for the help we do get with that, a benefit for special needs children adopted through the state foster system.
Phone calls trying to withdraw kids from virtual schooling in order to put back into public school. This is against my wishes, but complying with CPS wishes. I am very nervous for these girls and their progress. I hope for the best.
Cooked carrots with dinner - one of my favorites!! Definite high point in my day! :-)
Amusing: Sarah (below, showing her height 5'10.5" compared to Abby's barely 5') watched a TV commercial. The commercial advertised a product that can take 10 years off your appearance! She's certain she would like this product - so she can look 3 years old again! lol...she's a very wryly, sarcastically, funny kid. (And I pray that her severe anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and physical differences, can tolerate a shove back into 8th grade...she'll do fine. Right?)
7 comments:
The sad reality is that CPS workers don't want to find the truth. They just want to find random facts that support their warped view that you, the parent, are the criminal.
It's stunning how workers will overlook positive after positive, and point to the one negative thing they can dig up.
Having gone through three investigations, as well as having to spend a year fighting the Department to adopt in the first place, I give you my sympathy.
I wish I had more to offer.
I wish the best for Sarah. She just may have to use her voice more and I know that has been hard for her in the past. I only hope that this school district doesn't have the clicks/gangs that the past one seemed to have. Keep me posted with updates of her progress. I worry also.
Hang on...I'm confused. How can that government body (I assume that's what CF whatever is) tell you how to educate kids you a) gave birth to or b) adopted. Don't you legally "own" those ones?????
Theresa - you've sure had more than your fair share of punishment for your good deeds! I always read your blog, but rarely comment, but i just wanted to tell you that I'm praying for you and your family. Keep your chin up - one day this will all be a distant memory. When this is all over, your next mission needs to be changing the laws in AZ regarding disruption - it is simply ridiculous the way they treat you because you stepped forward to try to raise kids no one else was willing to even TRY to raise! Then you're the bad guy for trying.. that really stinks!! :( Keep blogging - there are a lot of people in the blogosphere reading your story and hoping good things for you.
My heart breaks for YOU in these hellish situations. Steven will never understand what he's lost by bad-mouthing your family. I will never come to a place of peace when it comes to CPS raking us over the coals over the words/behaviors of very mentally and developmentally challenged children. When adults take the "side" of these kids, it just empowers them to continue with these sick behaviors - it gives them the idea that they are not accountable or responsible for any of their actions - we didn't screw them up, a fact that seems to get lost in these situations. No matter how much we want to help them, we are continuously having to defend ourselves and our decisions - even when the only options we have are bad and worse.
My son was giggling in the psychiatrists office the other day about his 2 hour tantrums (he's almost 17) and I lost it. I informed the dr. that there was NOTHING funny about a 17 yo screaming, yelling, and virtually holding our family hostage at his whim. I have a 6 yo who is AFRAID to sleep because of the 17 yo's threats. Our family is being emotionally battered and he has the nerve to joke about this behavior?? Incredible!! The sad part is that I don't believe the dr. really thought it was amusing, he was just trying to connect with my son - what a way to do it!!
My husband says that our hell may only last a little while longer (til he's 18), but our sons will likely be for the rest of his life because the world is NOT going to give him shelter, food and a family - for long, reality will slap him upside the head at some point.
Steven's new best friend will catch on eventually - too bad that never happens quickly enough to protect our families....
I hope all went well. I just stumbled upon your blog and my heart ached for you as I read this post. You and your family are in my prayers.
Shawnele
I am so sorry you're going through all this crap! How can CPS make you put the kids back in public school?? Isn't that against your civil rights or something?? I'd have a fit, especially with all of the problems in the public school system.
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