She made it! - a success story

Elena is still pregnant - these are from today. She's 38 weeks, so isn't overdue or anything - but she's just one of the largest singleton pregnant mommas I've ever seen....doesn't even look "normal", esp not when you consider her very large DD chest looks tiny next to that baby belly....:-) (I'm sure she will appreciate my notation there...)

At our house, we "lost" another daughter this week. Elena moved out to try to make a life outside of our home for herself and baby (along with boyfriend/father of the baby). I wish them all the best and trust they will do just fine....at the same time, I"m missing her a LOT.

Looking back over my time as Elena's mom, there are SO many hills and valleys. Remembering the times of sorrow and worry, I realize more how blessed we are to have had these last several months of relatively "normal" mom/daughter experiences and living together. By "normal", that is - OF COURSE - with a heavy dose of our family perspective sprinkled around.

A few weeks ago, Elena tried to leave home again by starting fights, causing trouble and running away. Got her back home...and told her that I realized it was time for her to move on to her "own" life. But, this time, for the first time, I wanted her to do it right. Come home and then leave the right way. She could become empowered to overcome manynegative past experiences with just one positive experience here. She did. She came home. She mended things best she could from the trauma she'd caused. She planned, prepared, packed, and said goodbye to everyone. As many tears as I had as she walked out that door, I realize that mine were not only one kind of tears - there were tears of mourning over the time that has now passed with her as my "young" child, there were tears of fear for her uncertain future - for herself and for me (will I see her? will she remember to call me? etc). And, for this girl of mine, there were tears of joy. She did it!!! She really did it. For the first time ever in her life, she left the right way.

After all of the home and family moves this kid has had....after her childhood of abuse and orphanages...dealing with attachment disorder and fetal alcohol syndrome....and after all the life choices she made later (running away so often, involvement with police, POOR choices of friends and boyfriends, drugs/alcohol, prostitution, etc)....after all of that, this girl finally knows she really has a family. And she left her family in the right way, in a healthy way.

Today was also monumental. She came back. She walked through the front door, interacted and laughed, we ate, we hugged goodbye again. A few days ago, she moved out in the right way. And she came back today, in a healthy way. Now, she has one solid experience of how to be on your own and still have a family. And she can do it again. Part of a real family.

No matter what happens from here on out, this girl is a "success story".

In the biggest thing I had hoped for her - the understanding & acceptance of family relationships and love - my girl made it.